


Now There's Only Love in the Dark

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Leukemia, M/M, Post-Episode: s07e25 Ua Mau Ke Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono (Life of Land Perpetuated in Righteousness), Sick Steve McGarrett, Supportive Danny "Danno" Williams, Worried Danny Williams, radiation poisoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 13:39:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10992048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: "Doctor Yen called yesterday, and it turns out that he did find something with one of those tests." He looked back at Danny, and his eyes reflected the same fear Danny felt. "It turns out I've got leukemia."





	Now There's Only Love in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt on comment-fic (http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/787741.html?thread=101852189#t101852189):   
> Hawaii Five-0, Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams,
> 
>  _Once upon a time I was falling in love  
>  Now I’m only falling apart_  
> (Bonnie Tyler)
> 
> The title comes from the song used in the prompt, "Total Eclipse of the Heart."

The radiation poisoning, true to what Steve's doctor had predicted, had produced some long-term consequences for Steve. He had eventually informed the others on the team of his condition, and everyone was of course concerned for the future. For about two years, Steve managed it fairly well and only had the occasional symptoms he had first described to Danny.  
  
But lately, those "spells" had gotten more frequent and Steve had lost weight without any explanation. It had worried Danny, who insisted that Steve make an appointment with his doctor. He knew that Steve had gone to his appointment last week and that he was waiting for the results of various tests the doctor had done. Danny had seen Steve speaking to someone on his cell phone the previous afternoon with a serious expression on his face, but he had seemed cheerful for the rest of the day. It had been their first anniversary as a couple, and they had spent a lovely romantic evening together. But underneath the happiness that night, Danny swore that he could spot momentary flashes of sadness in Steve's eyes  
  
Danny had always had the tendency to see the worst case scenario, and that hadn't changed now that he was finally with the man he loved. He never imagined Steve voluntarily leaving him, but he had feared for Steve's life many times over the years. Steve had survived things most people wouldn't, but Danny knew that his partner wasn't immortal.  
  
That was why, when Steve came out of their house to go to work that morning and a shadow passed over his face, Danny felt dread sink into his gut. He knew, down to the bones, that something was wrong, even if he couldn't explain why.  
  
Steve got into the driver's side of Danny's car, and Danny asked the question before he could lose his nerve. "Something's wrong, isn't it?"  
  
Steve let out a sigh, which was the horrible confirmation Danny hadn't been looking for. "Let's just talk about it at work, okay."  
  
Danny wanted to protest that they needed to talk about this _now_ but Steve had already started the car and turned up the radio to a volume that would easily prevent conversation. Danny frowned, and as he waited to talk, his anxiety only grew. Steve, he noticed, seemed exhausted both physically and emotionally.  
  
When they arrived at the Palace, they were the only ones there. They went into Steve's office, and even though they were all alone, Steve shut the door behind them quietly.  
  
That was a bad sign, Danny knew. He started to feel nauseous, and Steve hadn't even told him the news yet. "What is it?"   
  
Steve glanced away from Danny for a second, his eyes drifting off to some point beyond him. His voice, when he spoke, sounded far away. "Doctor Yen called yesterday, and it turns out that he did find something with one of those tests." He looked back at Danny, and his eyes reflected the same fear Danny felt. "It turns out I've got leukemia."  
  
 _Leukemia. **Cancer.** Fuck._ Danny could barely react as he tried to process the news, but his eyes were starting to fill with tears and he struggled breathe as he felt the walls of Steve's office start to close in on them.  
  
"The good thing is that they caught it early, so hopefully, they'll be able to treat it, and I won't--"  
  
"Please, don't finish that sentence," Danny begged. Even the idea of Steve dying... a pained noise escaped Danny's mouth, and he held his hand to his mouth in an attempt to keep it in.  
  
Steve rubbed Danny's arm sympathetically. "Danno, it's going to be okay."  
  
"How can you even say that?!" Danny's vision went blurry as the tears streamed unchecked down his face. "And how the hell did this even happen?"  
  
"Dr. Yen said it was the radiation. Sometimes, cancers can develop later even if the level of exposure wasn't that high. If it's leukemia, it can appear two to ten years later, and well..." Steve trailed off with a miserable shrug.

  
Danny shook this head in disbelief. This was so unfair. It couldn't be happening, not now and not to Steve. A chill swept over Danny as he recalled how Steve had acted the previous day. "It was that phone call yesterday, wasn't it? You knew, didn't you?"  
  
Steve smiled weakly. "It was our anniversary. I just wanted us to have a nice time together."  
  
He reached his hand out to rub Steve's knee. "I love you, but you're an idiot, babe. You should have told me yesterday." He sighed, feeling remorseful that Steve had thought he needed to deal with this alone, even for one day. "We'll have plenty of nice anniversaries in the future," he declared, sounding more certain than he actually felt. Danny had to hold onto the idea of the future they were supposed to have together. At the moment, it was the only thing that could keep him from curling up in the fetal position and sobbing.  
  
"You sound really sure about that," Steve said. He wrapped his arm around Danny's shoulders, and Danny leaned against his side, letting the familiarity of that embrace comfort him.  
  
"I've only had you in my life for nine years, and that's not enough." Hell, fifty or a hundred years wouldn't be enough for Danny, and he knew it wouldn't be enough for Steve either. "I'm gonna make sure you get through this. I'm not letting you go yet."  
  
Steve grinned and turned to face Danny. He cradled Danny's face in his hands and stared at him with blatant adoration. "God, I love you."  
  
He leaned down for a kiss, and Danny closed his eyes and pretended that nothing else in the world existed but him and Steve. No cancer and nothing that could ever tear them apart. The kiss was soft and sweet, but underneath it all, Danny could taste the desperation they both felt, the need to cling to this fragile happiness while it was still theirs to claim.  
  
Steve pulled away just a few inches to breathe, releasing soft little puffs of air against Danny's lips. He closed his eyes and dropped his forehead gently against Danny's.  
  
Danny stroked his fingers through the hair at the back of Steve's head, biting the inside of his lip when he pictured Steve in a hospital gown and bald after a session of chemotherapy. Steve might face that, and possibly, the risks that came from receiving a bone marrow transplant. He hoped to God that Mary would be a match for Steve.  
  
Danny knew the days ahead would be long and dark for Steve, and he planned to be there for him in whatever way he could. Danny didn't pray often, but he would pray as long and as hard as he could that Steve would survive this and that there would be light ahead for them at the end of this tunnel.  
  
Finally, after a long time, Steve drew away and sat back in an upright position. He gave the best smile he could under the circumstances and blinked away the wetness that had gathered in his eyes. "Guess we better get back to work, huh?"  
  
He could tell that Steve was on the verge of falling apart, but he wanted to maintain as much normalcy in his life as he could. Danny would give Steve that, and he would be there for Steve later when the full implications of this hit him. He could be the person who Steve could trust enough to fall apart in front of.  
  
He would just have to be strong enough to not fall apart at the same time.  
  
Danny returned the expression, trying to look as calm and confident as possible. "Guess so."  
  
Steve's smile wavered briefly, but he stood up and reached down for Danny's hand.  
Danny stood with Steve and followed him out of the office, hands clasped tightly between them. Danny would hold onto Steve for as long as he could.


End file.
